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  • ORYAN. New Paltzers FTW!

    ORYAN

    A very cool album cover, if I do say so myself. One of the coolest, I imagine.

    Oryan are a self-proclaimed four piece folk/rock band from upstate New York. As a “Ryan” myself, I thought it worth sharing this band with you, a band which is helmed by Ryan Megan and Ryan Schoonmaker (there is a third Ryan in the mix, Ryan McCann, which makes one feel almost sorry for Adam Gosney, the fourth and only non “Ryan” in the band).

    The lead singer Ryan Megan has a lazy, three-beers type of baritone with just enough gravel in his voice to keep things interesting. As a guy from New York (unless I have this wrong), I wondered where this heavy drawl came from. He slurs his scenes between staccato drums and fuzzy guitars, and the hints of Tom Waits are undeniable. But the songs themselves (while at times benign and others down-right offensive) benefit from an interesting bar-room country meets traditional folk blend.

    I caught some faint yet pleasant Mark Eitzel undertones in lead-off track “The Ride,” and liked the partly sunny tones of “Goodbye,” as much as I disliked the disturbing “If Milbrook Got a Taco Bell.” “Helvetica,” is another nice track which starts out like something you might hear on any old decent country rock album but quickly evolves into something else once Ryan Megan’s vocals kick in.

    There are some nice guitar and drum solos throughout, and you can see how the first two Ryan’s got their start just jamming together. Not sure I would put them in league with Deer Tick or Kings of Leon, but one could see where they may fit as the evil, outlandish step-brothers perhaps.

    But with occasional, unforgivable lyrics such as: “If Millbrook got a Taco Bell / all the Arabs and Jews would make out / White folks would stop being scared of the blacks / And all the queers would feel free to come out,” I can’t help but wonder if there’s a joke here and I’m just missing it.

    Stream album (at your own risk).

  • Dead Man’s Bones

    Dead Man's Bones

    Ryan Gosling and cohort Zach Shields have formed a band. It is called Dead Man’s Bones and their self-titled debut sounds something like Patrick Wolf on quaaludes. Or like Black Heart Procession on speed. Or both.

    However, there is something interesting about a prim and proper (see The Notebook) and talented (see Fracture) actor joining forces with his long-time friend to make such a macabre, off-kilter album like this. Although I suppose he was the star in the twisted Lars and the Real Girl, so perhaps this shouldn’t be so suprising.

    Much of the LP consists of sloppily played instruments arranged in catchy yet morose ways. There are the occasional up-tempo moments, but it is the eerily-choral murder ballad which serves as the album’s mantlepiece time and again.

    It is the omnipresence of a zombie-like children’s choir, however, singing lines like: “Like a lamb to the slaughter, buried in water,” and “My body’s a zombie for you,” that raised my eyebrows with intrigue. It only helps to see press materials of this children’s choir dressed like an army of Charles Manson’s children going out to accost the neighborhood in their Halloween costumes (see above).

    Perhaps this album represents the way Gosling remembers his time spent at the Mickey Mouse Club as a child? I would completely get it if that was the case.

    Enjoy this Youtube clip, and check out their Myspace page to get a tasty preview of what should be a fairly successful debut offering.

  • Quote of the Week #048

    “‘Remember when,’ is the lowest form of conversation.” – Tony Soprano

  • Auto-Tune the News

    In perhaps one of the more genius concepts for a Youtube phenomenon, The Gregory Brothers have come up with the idea of “Auto-Tuning” the news. T-Pain approves of this one, and so do I!

    (#1 USE THE SUPER SOAKERS TO GET AL QUAEDA WET)

    (#2 YOU’LL ALWAYS HAVE AN ANGRY GORILLA TO BE ANGRY WITH YOU)

    (#3 A THAW IS POSSIBLE)

    (#4 MAYFLOWERS MAY BRING LEAD POISONING)

    (#5 GETTIN’ BLESSED BY JOE BIDEN FROM SPACE)

    (#6 WAKING UP IS A STRANGE REASON TO DIE)

    (#7 PEOPLE ON THE ROAD CAN TURN AN “LOL” INTO A GREAT BIG “OMG”)

    (#8 I HAVE A MASSIVE DEBT & DEFICIT DRAGON CHART)

  • Danish Inventions

    This one is for you, Kim; a succinct list of Danish inventions, in no particular order:

    1. The LEGO
    2. Danish Pastry
    3. Femidom (female condom)
    4. Hans Christian Anderson
    5. Syno-pal (skid-resistant highway surface)
    6. The Typewriter
    7. Krarup cable (submarine loading cable)
    8. Femi-X (female viagra)
    9. The O-Ring
    10. C++ Programming
    11. Drum Motor (used to power conveyor belts)
    12. Ussing Chamber (measures electrical currents through tissue)
    13. Magnetic Wire Recorder (NOT magnetic tape, as used in casettes)
    14. Dry Cell Battery (sort of, later: Duracell)
    15. Fiber Trim (a diet pill)
    16. The Corn Thresher
    17. pH scale
    18. Dogme 95 (avant-garde filmmaking movement)
    19. Electromagnetic Coil (used in tattoo machines and doorbells)
    20. Telegraphy (long-distance transmission of messages)
    21. Triplane (airplane with three wings)
    22. Aqua Wall (indoor waterfall)
    23. DiaTest (saliva collection kit)
    24. Hex (board game)

    And here’s a fairly useless (and mostly incorrect) Youtube tribute to some of the “top” Danish Inventions…

  • The Mayweather/Kellerman Debacle

    Mayweather vs. Kellerman

    So . . . Floyd Mayweather easily beat the smaller, slower Juan Manuel Márquez in a fairly clear victory from all sides of the ring. There was a knockdown in the second round, a nice counter left hook perfectly timed by Mayweather, and sending a dazed Márquez to the canvas. But beyond that, the most action we fight fans got to see was after the final bell had rung.

    Enter Max Kellerman, HBO’s attempt at finding a younger, more quippish boxing expert/analyst to replace the increasingly verbally meandering Larry Merchant. Max does the post-fight interviews now, and tonight it seemed he had more than he could handle. It all started simply enough, with Kellerman asking standard questions about how Floyd felt he did etc., and Mayweather sending the standard shout-outs to everyone from God to Reebok.

    But then two things happened that were ill-planned…

    1. Max asks about the Mayweather not making weight, and how it was reported that Márquez received $600,000 for the two pounds over the limit Mayweather came in at ($300,000 per pound). Mayweather didn’t want to talk about it. Max did. Max pressed the issue. Mayweather said: “I’m not here to talk about money” (ironically just after he admitted to conducting his shout-out commercials to make his seven digits).

    2. Max mentions the competition. We all know Manny Pacquiao is on the top of everybody’s mind. But apparently Max isn’t just a boxing expert. He’s a boxing expert with an ego problem. He thought it would be profound to make it known that he has someone else in mind for Mayweather. And that man is Shane Mosley. Oh, and Shane is standing in the ring, as part of Golden Boy Promotions. Oh oh oh, and Mosley really wants to call Mayweather out right there during the interview.

    Whoops!

    You see Max, not only did you lose control of the interview by not softening up Mayweather before going in for your “I’m so knowledgeable I’m going to throw you off your game” questions, you also failed (or maybe didn’t fail) to notice that Mosley was standing to your left when you asked about Mayweather ducking him.

    Things quickly became heated when Mosley stepped to the mic and said “Floyd, we just want to get it on,” or something to that effect. Mayweather didn’t appreciate being disrespected during his interview, and some chatter flew back and forth, with (surprise) Bernard Hopkins joining in for good measure.

    But this is where it gets annoying to the point of unacceptable. The whole time Mayweather and Mosley were verbally fighting, proud Mr. Max Kellerman refused to offer the mic to either party, opting instead to hold it close to his chest until he could do the talking himself. By the time Max finally got his words in, it was to change the subject to another challenger, Pacquiao. But by then Mayweather had had enough of Kellerman’s amateur shenanigans.

    “Let me talk,” Mayweather said to Kellerman. “It’s my turn to talk. You talk too much.”

    ZING!

    What would proud Mr. Kellerman say to that, you wonder? Better yet, what would Larry Merchant do? I think Merchant would have said something like “Okay, Floyd, you’re the one they want to hear anyway,” and passed it off.

    But not Kellerman. Oh, no no no. Max, instead, gets mad like a schoolgirl on a date who isn’t getting enough attention, and passes it off to Jim Lampley at ringside, thus ending the interview at its climax.

    Way to go, Max.

    A word to the ever so wise: The next time you have media gold on your lap, try not to be offended by the celebrity you are paid to interview. Instead, let the fans see the fireworks they paid to see but maybe didn’t get during the match itself.

    And by all means, do not join Jim Lampley and Emmanuel Steward at ring side to defend your useless opinion of what happened in the ring. We all saw it, and we can all make our own judgments. What happened in the ring had nothing to do with Mayweather having a chip on his shoulder against the media, or having the audacity to not like you, Max. I know, it’s an outrage to think that he might not like you as an interviewer, since you are apparently one of the only ones who actually likes him because he’s a pure boxer.

    It had to do with Mayweather thinking you were an amateurish interviewer who likes to hear himself speak, more than anybody else in the stadium (including Floyd).

    And can we really disagree with the boxer we love to hate and hate to love? I sure can’t.

    HBO, please reinstate Merchant as the boxing analyst/expert for championship PPV fights. He may be slower on the uptake, but he is entertaining in his own special way, and much more seasoned at pandering and prodding the most egotistical of boxers big and small.

    Or, if nothing else, find someone else. Max has moments of insight, but for the most part he is a poser, the type of expert you hate to hear talk because he’s usually doing it to impress.

  • Grace Says “Dey Is, Poobear.”

    Grace Says...

    *Translation: “Oh look, it’s Winnie the Pooh!”*

  • Quote of the Week #047

    “How we die: as deeply doe-eyed as we start.” – Hayden Thorpe

  • Very Important Pixels

    Very Important Pixels

    Very Important Pixels

    The art of Kristof Saelen 01 02.

  • Five Song Mixtapes. 006.

    World Tour

    “World Tour”

    The premise here was simple: simple find a nice mix of songs wherein the band names reflected different countries, continents or providences around the world. I omitted cities and states because who knows, I may do a 50 states mix at some point in the future, or a City Life theme. Anything’s possible. At any rate… Enjoy!

    1. Boards of Canada Music Is Math
    2. Manitoba Skunks
    3. Afrika Bambaataa Planet Rock
    4. Portugal. The Man Lovers In Love
    5. British Sea Power Man of Aran

    Download Mixtape.

  • Game of Thrones Cast (So Far)

     

    EDIT: Season 2 Cast List HERE.

    As you may have noticed I’m a fan of Fantasy and Science Fiction literature. Well HBO is too as they’ve ordered a pilot for Game of Thrones the first book in George R.R. Martin’s epic Fantasy series A Song of Ice and Fire. Kings queens bastards zombies imps you name it this series has it.

    The author and show producers have been taunting fans with casting clues tormenting us for days on end before a new actor is announced for a role. You have to remember this series is on par with Lord of the Rings in that the characters are larger than life as epic as the story they are beholden to.

    I have amassed a running tally of the cast so far. Most all of the major players for the pilot have been filled so I thought it a good time to show you all what to expect (hopefully) come winter of next year. You’ll probably be seeing “Winter Is Coming to HBO” posters next Fall don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    Series Regulars (Alphabetical)

    King Robert Baratheon Mark Addy is

    Robert Baratheon

    Theon Greyjoy Alfie Allen is

    Theon Greyjoy

    Ned Stark Sean Bean is

    Eddard Stark

    Daenerys Stormborn Emilia Clarke is

    Daenerys Targaryen

    Ser Jaime Lannister Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is

    Ser Jaime Lannister

    Tyrion Lannister Peter Dinklage is

    Tyrion Lannister

    Catelyn Stark Michelle Fairley is

    Catelyn Stark

    Petyr Baelish Aidan Gillen is

    Petyr Baelish

    Joffrey Baratheon Jack Gleeson is

    Joffrey Baratheon

    Ser Jorah Mormont Iain Glen is

    Ser Jorah Mormont

    Jon Snow Kit Harington is

    Jon Snow

    Cersei Lannister Lena Headey is

    Cersei Baratheon

    Bran Stark Isaac Hempstead-Wright is

    Bran Stark

    Viserys Targaryen Harry Lloyd is

    Viserys Targaryen

    Robb Stark Richard Madden is

    Robb Stark

    Sandor Clegane Rory McCann is

    Sandor Clegane

    Sansa Stark Sophie Turner is

    Sansa Stark

    Arya Stark Maisie Williams is

    Arya Stark

    Featured Cast (Alphabetical)

    Samwell Tarly John Campbell-West is

    Samwell Tarly

    Ser Rodrik Cassel Ron Donachie is

    Ser Rodrik Cassel

    Bronn Jerome Flynn is

    Bronn

    Varys Conleth Hill is

    Varys

    Khal Drogo Jason Momoa is

    Khal Drogo

    Maester Luwin Donald Sumpter is

    Maester Luwin

    Guest Cast (Alphabetical)

    Irri Amrita Acharia is

    Irri

    Illyrio Mopatis Roger Allam is

    Illyrio Mopatis

    Pyp Josef Altin is

    Pyp

    Renly Baratheon Gethin Anthony is

    Renly Baratheon

    Mord Ciaran Bermingham is

    Mord

    Ros Esmé Bianco is

    Ros

    Ser Walder Frey David Bradley is

    Ser Walder Frey

    Septa Mordane Susan Brown is

    Septa Mordane

    Janos Slynt Dominic Carter is

    Janos Slynt

    Mhaegen Antonia Christophers is

    Mhaegen

    Jeor Mormont James Cosmo is

    Jeor Mormont

    Tywin Lannister Charles Dance is

    Tywin Lannister

    Gendry Joseph Dempsie is

    Gendry

    Lysa Arryn Kate Dickie is

    Lysa Arryn

    Stiv Stephen Don is

    Stiv

    Marillion Emun Elliot is

    Marillion

    Robin (Robert) Arryn Lino Facioli is

    Robin (Robert) Arryn

    Jhoho Elyes Gabel is

    Jhogo

    Ser Kevan Lannister Ian Gelder is

    Ser Kevan Lannister

    Grand Maester Pycelle Julian Glover is

    Grand Maester Pycelle

    Ser Hugh of the Vale Jefferson Hall is

    Ser Hugh of the Vale

    Hot Pie Ben Hawkey is

    Hot Pie

    Mycah Rhodri Hosking is

    Mycah

    Old Nan Margaret John is

    Old Nan

    Ser Ilyn Payne Wilko Johnson is

    Ser Ilyn Payne

    Gared Dermot Keaney is

    Gared

    Shae Sibel Kekilli is

    Shae

    Masha Keddle Susie Kelly is

    Masha Keddle

    Shagga Mark Lewis Jones is

    Shagga

    Catspaw Assassin Simon Lowe is the

    Catspaw Assassin

    Yoren Francis Magee is

    Yoren

    Greatjon Umber Clive Mantle is

    Greatjon Umber

    Benjen Stark Joseph Mawle is

    Benjen Stark

    Ser Vardis Egan Brendan McCormack is

    Ser Vardis Egan

    Barristan Selmy Ian McElhinney is

    Ser Barristan Selmy

    Rast Luke McEwan is

    Rast

    Doreah Roxanne McKee is

    Doreah

    Hodor Kristian Nairn is

    Hodor

    Waymar Royce Rob Ostlere is

    Ser Waymar Royce

    Rickon Stark Art Parkinson is

    Rickon Stark

    Myrcella Baratheon Aimee Richardson is

    Myrcella Baratheon

    Wineseller Lalor Roddy is the

    Wineseller

    Qotho Dar Salim is

    Qotho

    Ser Lancel Lannister Eugene Simon is

    Ser Lancel Lannister

    Jamie Sives Jamie Sives is

    Jory Cassel

    Jon Arryn John Standing is

    Jon Arryn

    Grenn Mark Stanley is

    Grenn

    Gregor Clegane Conan Stevens is

    Ser Gregor Clegane

    Ser Alliser Thorne Owen Teale is

    Ser Alliser Thorne

    Maester Aemon Targaryen Peter Vaughan is

    Maester Aemon Targaryen

    Osha Natalia Tena is

    Osha

    Lommy Greenhands Eros Vlahos is

    Lommy Greenhands

    Will Bronson Webb is

    Will

    Tommen Baratheon Callum Wharry is

    Tommen Baratheon

    Syrio Forel Miltos Yeromelou is

    Syrio Forel

  • Quote of the Week #046

    “The Inept take meetings as the Adept take naps.” – merkley

  • Air Show!

    There’s something thrilling about death being just a helicopter blade away…

    Air Show!

    Air Show!

    Air Show!

    Air Show!

    Air Show!

    View More.

  • Avatar vs. Delgo

    Avatar vs. Delgo

    I’m trying to figure out which of these will, historically speaking, suck more.

    Avatar Trailer
    Delgo Trailer

  • Pencils Move Mountains

    Sam Ashton

    Sam Ashton

    Sam Ashton

    Sam Ashton

    The art of Sam Ashton 01 02 03.

  • Five Song Mixtapes. 005.

    The Accordionists

    “Indie Falsetto”

    I decided to limit the falsettos here to just the indie genre, though the likes of Roy Orbison, Prince, Frankie Valli and Michael Jackson belong in their own hall of fame altogether. Enjoy!

    1. Sigur Rós Gobbledigook
    2. Bon Iver Brackett, WI
    3. The Low Anthem Charlie Darwin
    4. Shearwater The Snow Leopard
    5. Jeff Buckley Corpus Christi Carol

    Download Mixtape.

  • A. Bird in a Church.

    Here are a couple of reasons why Andrew Bird deserves three or four times more respect than he thus far has received. We have our preconceptions of one man bands, guys with harmonicas rigged in front of their faces, holding accordions and guitars strapped across their backs, maybe some foot controlled drums.

    But this is a different kind of one-man band. This one is a classically trained, obscure lyricist, premiere whistler and a helluva composer it seems.

    Enjoy!

    P.S. Apologies in advance for the advertisements. Not my doing.

    Legacy Flash video removed. See surrounding links in this post.

    Legacy Flash video removed. See surrounding links in this post.