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(NOT INCLUDING SNL)

5. Catch Me If You Can – Frank Abagnale Sr.

“Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.”

4. The Rundown – Hatcher

“I feel like a little boy who’s lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here. [sidekick translates to villagers] Wait a second, do you understand the concept of the tooth-fairy? Explain it to them. [more translation] Wait. She takes the God damned thing, and gives you a quarter. They’ve got my tooth. I want it back.”

3. Poolhall Junkies – Uncle Mike

“This lion, is the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He’s laying down under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He’s so big. So hot. He doesn’t want to move. Now, the little lions come they start messing with him, biting his tail biting his ears, he doesn’t do anything. […] Now, the other animals they notice. And they start to move in. The jackals, hyenas, they’re barking at him laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food, and get in his domain. They do this, and get closer and closer and bolder and bolder ’til one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit outta’ everybody. Runs like the wind. Eats everything in his path, ’cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is. It’s too late to be scared. It’s time to kill.”

2. Pulp Fiction – Captain Koons

“This watch was on your daddy’s wrist when he was shot down over Hannoi. He was captured, put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew that if the gooks ever saw the watch, they’d confiscate it, take it away. The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He’d be damned if any slope’s gonna’ put his greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it, in one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years he wore this watch, up his ass.”

1. True Romance – Vincenzo Coccotti

“You know, Sicilians, are great liars. The best, in the world. I’m Sicilian. My father was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. From growing up with him, I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies, to give himself away. A guy’s got seventeen pantomimes. A woman’s got twenty, guy’s got seventeen. But, if you know them, like you know your own face, they’d be lie detectors all to hell. Now, what we got here, is a little game of show-and-tell: You don’t wanna’ show me nothing, but you’re telling me everything. I know you know where they are. So. Tell me. Before I do some damage, that you won’t walk away from.”

(THAT I’VE RESEARCHED, AT LEAST)

Letter Count: 28 letters
This is the longest word in the English dictionary, even though you could add prefixes and suffixes to other names to make longer ones. It made the list because some of these other words below are translations, requiring more letters in English than they would in their own language.

Letter Count: 54 letters
This monstrocity is a chemical used for pain relief of tooth aches. It’s technically a medicinal word, allowing it to add and morph as many elements as needed to articulate their point. This one comes with a lot of caveats it seems.

Letter Count: 58 letters
Believe it or not, there is a place in Wales with this name. Good luck telling your cabbie to get you there, though.

Letter Count: 165 letters
I’m not kidding when I tell you that the jumble of letters above is also an actual location in Thailand. What were these guys thinking? I’d be winded just telling someone where I was going.

Letter Count: 179 letters
Once upon a time, there was an Indian chief who lived his days in Wisconsin. He died in 1866, but left as his legacy, the longest name in history, clocking in at a whopping 179 letters.