Bad Word Pairs #034

“Chip Clip”

I am well aware of the reality of wanting to keep food fresh, especially when it comes to those goods prone to becoming stale quickly. Enter the chip clip, the cure-all for rogue chip bags left opened overnight. A chip clip has everything going for it: convenience, ingenuity, and a cute rhyming name. And who doesn’t like to go to sleep at night knowing their Fritos will be deliciously crisp and crunchy the next morning?

There’s only one problem. A chip clip is an extra piece of equipment added onto an object already designed to remedy itself with any amount of homemade logic. I personally am irked by the magnet you find on the backs of chip clips. As much as I love to brush past a chip clip on my refrigerator, send it sailing to the floor where it comes apart and you have to put it back together, you actually don’t need an apparatus to ensure freshness, trust me.

For those out there who want to keep their Fritos fresh next time, just employ the traditional single-fold maneuver. You know, the one where you take the rip-off part of the bag at the top (AKA the part where all the air goes, thus making you feel ripped-off when you finally dig into your half-full bag), fold it once against the bottom part, then lay the chips sideways on a shelf so that the fold is sandwiched between your cupboard surface and the bag itself. Works every time, I promise.

For those who don’t eat much at a time, or if you buy an uncommonly overfilled bag, you may protest how you don’t have enough slack to execute the single-fold with any success. True. However, you simply have to employ the single-fold maneuver with wedge variation. It’s the same as the traditional single-fold, only you need to butt the creased (top) part of your bag against the side-wall of your cupboard or countertop and you’re as good as gold.

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“Bad Word Pairs #034”