Bad Word Pairs #023

“Corporate Bailout”

When did the hard work of millions of Americans became the piggy bank from which poorly managed corporations drew from? I’ll never know the answer, and yet I’ve never felt so powerless as a citizen of this great country.

Ignoring the $700 billion in taxpayer dollars already approved, our government has also given the thumbs-up to an $85 billion bailout for insurance company AIG, as well as an estimated $300 billion for Citigroup. Now the auto industry is flashing Uncle Sam their puppy-dog eyes and asking for $34 billion in short-term loans and investments.

Aww, how cute, the big empirical corporations can’t make their margins, and now they need their fair-but-firm uncle to bail them out. I’m reminded of a rich kid in the Hamptons who blew all his money on mojitos for his buddies and crashed the Ferrari into a tree, then sank the yacht trying to get home, and now he needs to borrow a couple grand from mommy and daddy to pay for his girlfriend’s prom dress.

Give me a break Washington, can we let these private sector companies go bankrupt and reform on their own? No point in heaving your hope diamond onto the sinking Titanic. Let it sink, so we can remember how great it was supposed to be, and build another one even better.

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