Bad Word Pairs #006

“Veggie Burger”

My disdain for veggie burgers has less to do with me being omnivorous, and more to do with the questions I’ve always had for the marketing toward vegetarians and vegans in general. Am I the only one who is insulted by the fact that most all vegetarian products are named and advertised as though its consumers were two years old?

Whether we’re talking about Tofurkey, Rice Dream, Silk or Veat, I can’t help picture the marketing teams at these companies all gathered around their fake jiggling turkey in awe, and then coming up with the first word that came to their minds. Then they all giggled and then called the graphic designers to put some cute box art together for distribution.

And I’ll close by saying I still don’t understand why vegans and vegetarians pine for meatless meats so vicariously. Isn’t the very idea of abstaining from eating meat to do just that? Why shape your tofu to look and taste like the thing you’re supposed to have given up? Just eat the vegetables, skip the veggie burger. Sheesh.

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